Quote(s) of the Day #4
Promise yourself to live your life as a revolution and not just a process of evolution.
-Anthony J. D'Angelo
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
And this one below is one of my new favourite quotes (it justifies why I am always late!):
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
-Anthony J. D'Angelo
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
And this one below is one of my new favourite quotes (it justifies why I am always late!):
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
Dementia
The other day I came across an audio photography slideshow called Loving and living with Alzheimer's by an American photographer and writer called Judith Fox. Her husband, Dr Ed Ackell was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease 12 years ago. The photographs were on exhibition in London a few days ago, but they are also available online on BBS's website now. Do take a look here, it's called I Still Do and it's a sad narration of living with someone with Alzheimer's.
I haven't really given dementia-related diseases much thought and devoted much interest into them previously. However, maybe they are worth looking into and gaining an understanding of, not only because they are such horrible diseases, but they are also on the rise. In many countries, the number of people living with dementia are expected to double in the next few decades. Therefore, it is predicted to be a massive health care issue globally, especially for our generation, because our lifespans are just increasing (age is a big risk factor), and dementia type diseases really require a lot of resources.
Dementia is a broad term for a group of diseases, and the word literally means "deprived of mind". There are different types of dementia, where Alzheimer's disease (AD) - the most commonly heard one - is one. There is also vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy bodies, and Frontotemporal dementia etc. Because these diseases do not cause specific symptoms due to the varying location of the brain it occurs at and the progression of decline, it makes detecting and diagnosing these diseases quite difficult, and may take months. Usually the patient him or herself will not notice any differences, especially in the early stages, but family members and relatives might notice behavioural and other cognitive changes.
Dementia must be one of the most horrible conditions to get, especially the types that gradually get more severe and worse over periods of many years. I really hope I don't die of dementia. It would not only be a slow and painful death for myself, but an even more painful torture for my family and relatives. They would need to take care of me, and at the same time watch me get more and more severe, and eventually become someone they don't recognise anymore at all (what if I don't even like Harry Potter anymore?!). Likewise, I would not wish for anyone I know to die of dementia either, it would be so painful to watch. The creator of the photography slideshow's husband used to be a doctor and perform surgeries, imagine watching him have to give that up. Urgh.
So guys, take care of your brains! Apparently diet plays a role in the causation of these types of diseases, so feed your brains with nutritious stuff, and play memory games to keep your brains in shape!
I haven't really given dementia-related diseases much thought and devoted much interest into them previously. However, maybe they are worth looking into and gaining an understanding of, not only because they are such horrible diseases, but they are also on the rise. In many countries, the number of people living with dementia are expected to double in the next few decades. Therefore, it is predicted to be a massive health care issue globally, especially for our generation, because our lifespans are just increasing (age is a big risk factor), and dementia type diseases really require a lot of resources.
Dementia is a broad term for a group of diseases, and the word literally means "deprived of mind". There are different types of dementia, where Alzheimer's disease (AD) - the most commonly heard one - is one. There is also vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy bodies, and Frontotemporal dementia etc. Because these diseases do not cause specific symptoms due to the varying location of the brain it occurs at and the progression of decline, it makes detecting and diagnosing these diseases quite difficult, and may take months. Usually the patient him or herself will not notice any differences, especially in the early stages, but family members and relatives might notice behavioural and other cognitive changes.
Dementia must be one of the most horrible conditions to get, especially the types that gradually get more severe and worse over periods of many years. I really hope I don't die of dementia. It would not only be a slow and painful death for myself, but an even more painful torture for my family and relatives. They would need to take care of me, and at the same time watch me get more and more severe, and eventually become someone they don't recognise anymore at all (what if I don't even like Harry Potter anymore?!). Likewise, I would not wish for anyone I know to die of dementia either, it would be so painful to watch. The creator of the photography slideshow's husband used to be a doctor and perform surgeries, imagine watching him have to give that up. Urgh.
So guys, take care of your brains! Apparently diet plays a role in the causation of these types of diseases, so feed your brains with nutritious stuff, and play memory games to keep your brains in shape!
Oh lovely Edinburgh!
As mentioned previously, I spent my Easter weekend up in Edinburgh, Scotland with my lovely sister! It was a lot of fun and adventure! I don't really know where to start, there's so much to write about! Ok, let me start with the most important event: I stepped foot AND ate in two cafes where JK Rowling wrote parts of the Harry Potter books!! I was in the same premises as her, saw the same things and might have even sat on the same chair she did! Maybe my trousers even have particles from her trousers! Maybe we even ordered to eat the same thing! There was one cafe called Black Medicine Co., and it had a really cool interior design. If the design was the same several years ago when Rowling sat there, I can really see how the cafe might have inspired her writing, because its interior gives a sense of mystery. The second cafe was called The Elephant and the House or something similar. It has windows that overlook Edinburgh Castle and a graveyard, which could have inspired some of her graveyard Voldemort scenes! Below is a photo of a statue in the Black Medicine Co. cafe, pretty mysterious and cool!
I'm pretending to be JK Rowling, heehee! I don't think you can see, but the tables and chairs and the entire theme of the cafe is very loggy and foresty (the chairs were rather uncomfortable though, quite impressed that Rowling managed to sit on those for extended hours).
Edinburgh is a really nice city. Even though it's a major city, it's not massive in size, and it's a walking city. The architecture is very beautiful and very old-day style - you could totally believe you are walking in a town in the 19th century or something if you removed all the cars from the streets. One very bad thing about Edinburgh though is that dogs in Edinburgh have no manners (or their homo sapien owners are very bad potty trainers), because there is a lot of dog shit scattered throughout the pavements. My pure WHITE sneakers were like 5cms away from a pile of shit multiple times, and I am eternally grateful that my sneakers did not get smudged in brown crap, especially because my poor sister stepped into a pile. It wasn't just a normal pile of poo, it was like one of those newly pooed diarrhea looking poo. Long story short: she threw her poop shoes and bought a new pair.
We went up to Edinburgh Castle, strolled through the ancient-looking streets among all the lovely cafes, encountered numerous men in kilts musing about whether they were wearing any underwear under the kilt (traditionally you're not suppoed to wear underwear it), enjoyed the beautiful scenary mixture of snow-capped mountain tops, seashores and white clouds against a jet blue sky. Speaking of a blue sky, on Friday when I left for Edinburgh, BBC reported that it would rain both Saturday and Sunday. BBC tends to be rather inaccurate regarding the weather, I mean it is rather common to expect sunny intervals because you foolishly believe BBC will be right, and then get big heavy showers. This time, I hoped reeeeally hard that BBC would be wrong, and I was so happy when they were! Both days we had quite a lot of sunshine, and a little bareable amount of rain. Oh, and another peculiar thing happened. It had just rained, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds again, and it was really sunny. Then suddenly when I looked at a few specks of cloud in the sky, the clouds were rainbow coloured. I don't really know if the rainbow was reflected on the clouds' surfaces or something, but it was sooo beautiful, I had never seen that phenomenon before:
Below are just some random photos of 1)Edinburgh Castle, 2)a scenary view from Edinburgh Castle of the city and snowy mountain, 3)me peeking curiously into a canon head on the Castle yard discovering that it is used as a candy wrapper disposal by tourists, and 4)in the foreground a part of a palace where the Queen stays when she goes to Edinburgh, and in the background a moutain we were supposed to climb on our very last morning before leaving Edinburgh, but never did because it was raining.
I intend on coming back to Edinburgh to seek out more JK Rowling cafes and to climb that mountain above. In the mean time, I hope the Scottish Parliament does something about the god damn dog poo piles soiling the pavements.
I'm pretending to be JK Rowling, heehee! I don't think you can see, but the tables and chairs and the entire theme of the cafe is very loggy and foresty (the chairs were rather uncomfortable though, quite impressed that Rowling managed to sit on those for extended hours).
Edinburgh is a really nice city. Even though it's a major city, it's not massive in size, and it's a walking city. The architecture is very beautiful and very old-day style - you could totally believe you are walking in a town in the 19th century or something if you removed all the cars from the streets. One very bad thing about Edinburgh though is that dogs in Edinburgh have no manners (or their homo sapien owners are very bad potty trainers), because there is a lot of dog shit scattered throughout the pavements. My pure WHITE sneakers were like 5cms away from a pile of shit multiple times, and I am eternally grateful that my sneakers did not get smudged in brown crap, especially because my poor sister stepped into a pile. It wasn't just a normal pile of poo, it was like one of those newly pooed diarrhea looking poo. Long story short: she threw her poop shoes and bought a new pair.
We went up to Edinburgh Castle, strolled through the ancient-looking streets among all the lovely cafes, encountered numerous men in kilts musing about whether they were wearing any underwear under the kilt (traditionally you're not suppoed to wear underwear it), enjoyed the beautiful scenary mixture of snow-capped mountain tops, seashores and white clouds against a jet blue sky. Speaking of a blue sky, on Friday when I left for Edinburgh, BBC reported that it would rain both Saturday and Sunday. BBC tends to be rather inaccurate regarding the weather, I mean it is rather common to expect sunny intervals because you foolishly believe BBC will be right, and then get big heavy showers. This time, I hoped reeeeally hard that BBC would be wrong, and I was so happy when they were! Both days we had quite a lot of sunshine, and a little bareable amount of rain. Oh, and another peculiar thing happened. It had just rained, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds again, and it was really sunny. Then suddenly when I looked at a few specks of cloud in the sky, the clouds were rainbow coloured. I don't really know if the rainbow was reflected on the clouds' surfaces or something, but it was sooo beautiful, I had never seen that phenomenon before:
Below are just some random photos of 1)Edinburgh Castle, 2)a scenary view from Edinburgh Castle of the city and snowy mountain, 3)me peeking curiously into a canon head on the Castle yard discovering that it is used as a candy wrapper disposal by tourists, and 4)in the foreground a part of a palace where the Queen stays when she goes to Edinburgh, and in the background a moutain we were supposed to climb on our very last morning before leaving Edinburgh, but never did because it was raining.
I intend on coming back to Edinburgh to seek out more JK Rowling cafes and to climb that mountain above. In the mean time, I hope the Scottish Parliament does something about the god damn dog poo piles soiling the pavements.
Magnets "can modify our morality"
That was the headline of one of BBC's health articles this morning. The article was about a small study conducted by Massachusetts Institute of Technology. They used magnetic pulses which blocked cell activity in a region of the brain located a little bit above and behind the right ear. This apparently modified the volunteers' morality.
The research team pinpointed the region, especially a region called the right temporo-parietal juntion (RTPJ), a group of nerve cells considered to be the key area. By using a special technique they caused weak electric currents that (temporarily) ceased normal brain cell activity in that area. In one test, the volunteers were subjected to these pulses for 25 minutes, and were then asked to read stories. These stories contained characters that were morally questionable, and then the volunteers' were asked to judge the actions of these characters.
In the second test, the volunteers were only exposed to 500 millisecond of these electric pulses during which they were asked to make a moral judgement. One question they received was whether a man who let his girlfriend walk across a bridge he knew to be unsafe was acceptable. Their general consensus was that if the girlfriend walked across the bridge unfarmed, then the boyfriend did not do anything wrong.
Based on the result of both tests, the conclusion drawn by the research team was that when the RTPJ was affected, the volunteers were more likely to judge actions only on the basis of whether they caused harm, not if they were morally wrong in itself. What is also interesting is that apprently the RTPJ is very late in developing, it keeps on developing even a little beyond the 20s.
I think this is really fascinating research! We know soooo effing little about the brain, and something like this is like almost revolutionary, especially because this is about higher functions. I hope they keep on researching this RTPJ area, and understand more about how it functions and also how it develops. On the other hand, it's also quite scary that morality can be modified just like that!
P.S. I'm going to Edinburgh today! My sister is flying from Stockholm and then we're meeting up in Edinburgh and will spend the next three days there holidaying. BBC reports that the weather will be rainy and only a few degrees warm, but since BBC is almost always wrong weather-wise, I am hoping that they are wrong this time!
The research team pinpointed the region, especially a region called the right temporo-parietal juntion (RTPJ), a group of nerve cells considered to be the key area. By using a special technique they caused weak electric currents that (temporarily) ceased normal brain cell activity in that area. In one test, the volunteers were subjected to these pulses for 25 minutes, and were then asked to read stories. These stories contained characters that were morally questionable, and then the volunteers' were asked to judge the actions of these characters.
In the second test, the volunteers were only exposed to 500 millisecond of these electric pulses during which they were asked to make a moral judgement. One question they received was whether a man who let his girlfriend walk across a bridge he knew to be unsafe was acceptable. Their general consensus was that if the girlfriend walked across the bridge unfarmed, then the boyfriend did not do anything wrong.
Based on the result of both tests, the conclusion drawn by the research team was that when the RTPJ was affected, the volunteers were more likely to judge actions only on the basis of whether they caused harm, not if they were morally wrong in itself. What is also interesting is that apprently the RTPJ is very late in developing, it keeps on developing even a little beyond the 20s.
I think this is really fascinating research! We know soooo effing little about the brain, and something like this is like almost revolutionary, especially because this is about higher functions. I hope they keep on researching this RTPJ area, and understand more about how it functions and also how it develops. On the other hand, it's also quite scary that morality can be modified just like that!
P.S. I'm going to Edinburgh today! My sister is flying from Stockholm and then we're meeting up in Edinburgh and will spend the next three days there holidaying. BBC reports that the weather will be rainy and only a few degrees warm, but since BBC is almost always wrong weather-wise, I am hoping that they are wrong this time!
Sunny day
This morning has been the first nice sunny morning in a looong while! So I seized the chance and went for a walk in Hyde Park. Spring is definitely on its way, just look at the flowers below! Snow is forbidden, if snow falls again, I will rage at the sky!
This one is cool, because it kind of looks like a few big blood vessels branching off into a million smaller capillaries. It's so beautiful, like an organ!
Ok, in the centre of the red ring is a squirrel. I was so awed, I've never seen a squirrel THAT high up on a tree! I mean all I've seen them do is run for their lives scared to death when they see me, being fed by people with bread, and running up and down small tree trunks. I've never encountered such a hardcore one that climbed 20 meters up a tree! Maybe it was sun-bathing, enjoying the sun and scenary.
When I got home today, I embarked on a project. Because it's impossible for me to sleep when it gets light outside, and these days it gets light outside sooo freaking early, that the past week, I stuffed a dark towel between the window and wall like a (very ugly) curtain. Today I couldn't stand the ugliness anymore, so I got some black cardboard paper, and wrapped it up in plastic wrapping. The best thing is that the plastic makes the cardboard stick automatically to the window thanks to static electricity. So now I have a slightly more aestheically pleasing curtain (although it does remind me a little bit of what people did during World War II to avoid bombs at their houses):
Today is the 1st of April. I haven't gotten fooled yet, thank god. Well, ok, maybe in the morning everyone got fooled by god or whatever: I woke up to a beautiful, sunny day, and it was sunny and blue sky all the way until one o'clock, when it all of a sudden started showering and thundering like mad. Not fun.
This one is cool, because it kind of looks like a few big blood vessels branching off into a million smaller capillaries. It's so beautiful, like an organ!
Ok, in the centre of the red ring is a squirrel. I was so awed, I've never seen a squirrel THAT high up on a tree! I mean all I've seen them do is run for their lives scared to death when they see me, being fed by people with bread, and running up and down small tree trunks. I've never encountered such a hardcore one that climbed 20 meters up a tree! Maybe it was sun-bathing, enjoying the sun and scenary.
When I got home today, I embarked on a project. Because it's impossible for me to sleep when it gets light outside, and these days it gets light outside sooo freaking early, that the past week, I stuffed a dark towel between the window and wall like a (very ugly) curtain. Today I couldn't stand the ugliness anymore, so I got some black cardboard paper, and wrapped it up in plastic wrapping. The best thing is that the plastic makes the cardboard stick automatically to the window thanks to static electricity. So now I have a slightly more aestheically pleasing curtain (although it does remind me a little bit of what people did during World War II to avoid bombs at their houses):
Today is the 1st of April. I haven't gotten fooled yet, thank god. Well, ok, maybe in the morning everyone got fooled by god or whatever: I woke up to a beautiful, sunny day, and it was sunny and blue sky all the way until one o'clock, when it all of a sudden started showering and thundering like mad. Not fun.
Quote(s) of the Day #3
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
With all your goods and faults, hopes and worries, you exist now. What will it matter in 50 year's time?
I Read these quotes on a UK med-school forum:
Question: So what aspect of medicine are you interested in?
Guy 1: Nurses
Guy 2: Linen cupboard shagging
Ehehehe :D
With all your goods and faults, hopes and worries, you exist now. What will it matter in 50 year's time?
I Read these quotes on a UK med-school forum:
Question: So what aspect of medicine are you interested in?
Guy 1: Nurses
Guy 2: Linen cupboard shagging
Ehehehe :D
The concept of family
I am one lucky person who has a bunch of relatives. My mum has six siblings, and my dad has three, and all of them married and reproduced, which has resulted in me acquiring uncountable numbers of relatives. Not to mention, newborn relatives with complex relationships to me (e.g. my mum's sister's daughter's daughter's child - is that my niece niece??) keep popping out one after another.
Unfortunately, I only meet my relatives at most once a year, because except for one cousin, all the others are in China. Financially, it would be too expensive to fly to them more than once a year, especially when my parents fly back too, and thus ave to pay for multiple flight tickets. I didn't fly back last summer because I had just come back from au pairing in Nottingham, and since I didn't get any university offers for medicine, my mum freaked out about my future, and forced me to stay at home in Sweden to start applying for UK unis.
The last few months, I've been thinking more and more about my relatives, I miss them so effing much: my grandparents, my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, cousins' kids etc who I haven't met in almost two years. I am so going back this summer and staying the entire summer with them. Thinking about them made me reflect on the concept of family, especially the differences of the concepts between China and the Western World (forgive me for generalizing all the Western countries).
In China, the concept of family comprises not only your own parents and siblings, but your grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and all other relatives as well. You grow up with not only your parents, but with all these relatives around and close to you. It's very common that you go home to your grandparents' place for lunch and dinner everyday, where you meet other relatives gathered for lunch and dinner as well. This results in a very close-knit bunch of relatives, and there's no firm border between for instance your uncle's family and your family. Everyone is integrated in this unity.
I love this concept of family. You are put into a sea of people, and receive a lot of love and affection. It's also a great support network. If one member needs help, multiple helping hands are extended towards that member, whether it's monetary help or any other kind of help. In Chinese, the words family and home are the same character, signifying that your entire family, all the relatives, all the members is your home, your safe haven. It's the foundation of your life, the means of which you build your own life upon.
Unfortunately, with the devloping society, more and more families are split apart by city and country borders. This family concept is still present within most families, and I hope it stays for as long as possible. If I have a kids in the future (I hope not, but IF) I will definitely provide them with FAMILY and HOME Chinese style.
Unfortunately, I only meet my relatives at most once a year, because except for one cousin, all the others are in China. Financially, it would be too expensive to fly to them more than once a year, especially when my parents fly back too, and thus ave to pay for multiple flight tickets. I didn't fly back last summer because I had just come back from au pairing in Nottingham, and since I didn't get any university offers for medicine, my mum freaked out about my future, and forced me to stay at home in Sweden to start applying for UK unis.
The last few months, I've been thinking more and more about my relatives, I miss them so effing much: my grandparents, my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, cousins' kids etc who I haven't met in almost two years. I am so going back this summer and staying the entire summer with them. Thinking about them made me reflect on the concept of family, especially the differences of the concepts between China and the Western World (forgive me for generalizing all the Western countries).
In China, the concept of family comprises not only your own parents and siblings, but your grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and all other relatives as well. You grow up with not only your parents, but with all these relatives around and close to you. It's very common that you go home to your grandparents' place for lunch and dinner everyday, where you meet other relatives gathered for lunch and dinner as well. This results in a very close-knit bunch of relatives, and there's no firm border between for instance your uncle's family and your family. Everyone is integrated in this unity.
I love this concept of family. You are put into a sea of people, and receive a lot of love and affection. It's also a great support network. If one member needs help, multiple helping hands are extended towards that member, whether it's monetary help or any other kind of help. In Chinese, the words family and home are the same character, signifying that your entire family, all the relatives, all the members is your home, your safe haven. It's the foundation of your life, the means of which you build your own life upon.
Unfortunately, with the devloping society, more and more families are split apart by city and country borders. This family concept is still present within most families, and I hope it stays for as long as possible. If I have a kids in the future (I hope not, but IF) I will definitely provide them with FAMILY and HOME Chinese style.
Culinary challenge report
Ok, these few days I have (almost successfully) made two meals without causing too much damage to myself or my surroundings. I made salmon with aubergine and crab meat sauce on Friday. The BF had made it for me a few times previously, and I nearly died cause I loved it sooo much, so I decided to try to make it myself. The kitchen suffered quite a lot of stains and mess, but I have to say that my salmon was actually really good! If salmon wasn't so expensive, I'd make it everyday for dinner:
Tonight there was also some chicken that I HAD to use, otherwise it would rot and smell yucky if I waited another day. I cheated a little bit and used Knorr bottled creamy mushroom sauce and cooked the chicken in that. I actually managed to cook the chicken thoroughly, and it wasn't raw and bloody as I had feared it might be when I bit into it. However, I was sitring the boiling sauce with a wooden spade, and accidently splashed some drops into the air (don't ask me how), and a drop landed on my face near my eye. I freaked out and thought I was going to go blind, but then I realised my eye was fine. Then I also roasted vegetables, carrots and aubergine in the oven. They were not entirely successful, I forgot to put salt and they looked completely shrivelled after I took them out compared to the picture in the recipe:
Yay, I'm glad I'm starting to be able to make more edible food! My ultimate goal is to make one recipe per day for an entire month so that when the BF gets back, I can make him a different thing everyday, and additionally not have him complain about it being too salty or too whatever.
On a side note, I freaking hate London bus drivers! Today, I went out to get some stuff and needed to take the bus back for the last part of my route back home. I saw my bus stopping when I was still 20 metres away from the stop, so I ran the last bit. Then as I was fumbling for my bus pass, I stood in what I thought was the bus queue, there were two ladies in front of me right by the bus door. Then as I finally got my pass, I looked up, and realised those ladies were not in the queue at all, and the bus door was starting to shut. So I rushed past the ladies and tried to get on the bus, but the door closed right in front of my face. I started banging on the door, but the driver didn't even look my way, and just drove the fuck away. I was so annoyed by his behaviour and also by the ladies' stupidity. Why would someone stand RIGHT in front of a bus that they are not even going to board??? The fuck!
Tonight there was also some chicken that I HAD to use, otherwise it would rot and smell yucky if I waited another day. I cheated a little bit and used Knorr bottled creamy mushroom sauce and cooked the chicken in that. I actually managed to cook the chicken thoroughly, and it wasn't raw and bloody as I had feared it might be when I bit into it. However, I was sitring the boiling sauce with a wooden spade, and accidently splashed some drops into the air (don't ask me how), and a drop landed on my face near my eye. I freaked out and thought I was going to go blind, but then I realised my eye was fine. Then I also roasted vegetables, carrots and aubergine in the oven. They were not entirely successful, I forgot to put salt and they looked completely shrivelled after I took them out compared to the picture in the recipe:
Yay, I'm glad I'm starting to be able to make more edible food! My ultimate goal is to make one recipe per day for an entire month so that when the BF gets back, I can make him a different thing everyday, and additionally not have him complain about it being too salty or too whatever.
On a side note, I freaking hate London bus drivers! Today, I went out to get some stuff and needed to take the bus back for the last part of my route back home. I saw my bus stopping when I was still 20 metres away from the stop, so I ran the last bit. Then as I was fumbling for my bus pass, I stood in what I thought was the bus queue, there were two ladies in front of me right by the bus door. Then as I finally got my pass, I looked up, and realised those ladies were not in the queue at all, and the bus door was starting to shut. So I rushed past the ladies and tried to get on the bus, but the door closed right in front of my face. I started banging on the door, but the driver didn't even look my way, and just drove the fuck away. I was so annoyed by his behaviour and also by the ladies' stupidity. Why would someone stand RIGHT in front of a bus that they are not even going to board??? The fuck!
Bittersweet
Easter holiday is approaching. I'm starting to desperately dread extended holidays when students have the opportunity to go back home, because that means my BF will need to head back to Hong Kong to sort out family issues that needs him there in person. Since the beginning of our relationship, it has always been interrupted by weeks or months of separation because he needs to go back during those festive or holiday periods. Easter, summer, Christmas, and now easter again.
I thought I would get more and more used to him going away the more times he did it, but to be honest, it's just gotten harder and harder. The first time he went away last easter, it was when I realised I actually miss him a little when he's gone. A year later, the next easter, I feel so effing lonely in this empty flat. It's full of little reminders everywhere of our times together, any direction I turn my head I see something that reminds me of him. Quite painful. That's the bitter part.
The sweet part is that everytime he goes away, I realise how much I miss him and it makes me treasure the time I have with him between the holidays. I try not to waste a day and enjoy the time as much as possible before he's gone from my arms again. In a way it's nice to have a reminder every few months to remind me to enjoy every moment possible.
Anyway, I will not sit here and sulk about how empty the flat is and how lonely I feel. I have decided I will put myself in a culinary challenge! I will try to find recipes to cook, and find new favourite dishes. I am not exactly the most gifted chef, seeing that I have set oil on fire and melted a big plastic scooping spoon in burning sugar, but I shall learn from my past mistakes and move on. Tomorrow, I will cook salmon for lunch and chicken for dinner. Last Saturday, I was so proud I made cut up raw salmon and stir-fried some veggies and ate that with rice. I made that meal from scratch, look!
Now I will devote some time to find some (easy) recipes for my meals tomorrow, laters!
I thought I would get more and more used to him going away the more times he did it, but to be honest, it's just gotten harder and harder. The first time he went away last easter, it was when I realised I actually miss him a little when he's gone. A year later, the next easter, I feel so effing lonely in this empty flat. It's full of little reminders everywhere of our times together, any direction I turn my head I see something that reminds me of him. Quite painful. That's the bitter part.
The sweet part is that everytime he goes away, I realise how much I miss him and it makes me treasure the time I have with him between the holidays. I try not to waste a day and enjoy the time as much as possible before he's gone from my arms again. In a way it's nice to have a reminder every few months to remind me to enjoy every moment possible.
Anyway, I will not sit here and sulk about how empty the flat is and how lonely I feel. I have decided I will put myself in a culinary challenge! I will try to find recipes to cook, and find new favourite dishes. I am not exactly the most gifted chef, seeing that I have set oil on fire and melted a big plastic scooping spoon in burning sugar, but I shall learn from my past mistakes and move on. Tomorrow, I will cook salmon for lunch and chicken for dinner. Last Saturday, I was so proud I made cut up raw salmon and stir-fried some veggies and ate that with rice. I made that meal from scratch, look!
Now I will devote some time to find some (easy) recipes for my meals tomorrow, laters!
I AM GOING TO BE A DOCTOR
If you haven't already seen or heard or read through some sort of internet social site, e.g. Facebook, I will gladly repeat that Liverpool University's School of Medical Education accepted me! They gave me an unconditional offer. At first it didn't really hit me. On the 22nd, late afternoon, I was just back from a power-walking session, and opened my mail just cause the computer was on, and there was a mail from UCAS (the University College Adimission Services in the UK) saying that there was an update on one of my university statuses. Immediately, I associated that mail with yet another unsuccessful application from Liverpool or St. George's biomedicine course that I also applied to as a back-up. So I logged onto my UCAS account, and I saw the "un" bit in the word "unconditional", so I thought yep, another unsucessful. Then it occurred to me that the word unsuccessful looked a bit weird, it was spelled wrong. When I read the rest of the world, I gradually realised it was con-di-tional, not success-ful. So I violently dragged the BF to the computer so that he could confirm the word my eyes were witnessing. Yeah baby, unconditional! I think I still have to do an English exam though, like the TOFEL or ITELS or something and get a certain score to actually be able to obtain the university's offer, but I think it should be alright, seeing that my English is rather fluent.
Then the morning after, I couldn't sleep, and woke up at 6am. That's when it really struck me that I will actually be a doctor, I am really on my way towards that! Then I hopped out of bed and ate raspberries and drank coffee to contain my excitement. I spent my remaining day shopping at H&M, walking in Hyde Park, having lunch and then Italian ice-cream outside with BF, laundry (cause I felt like I needed to something productive), and ended the day eating chocolate (I couldn't stop, it was one of those moments when you just can't effing stop munching on cocoa and sugar and milk) while playing The Sims 3. Throughout the day at random times, I would remember that I am actually going to commence my medical education soon, which would make me sooo excited.
There was one thing was not very great about eating ice-cream yesterday. I had been moaning and whining about eating good Italian ice-cream for ages, but never found a good opportunity to do it due to some circumstances. Either I was too hungry for actual food or because the weather was bad or because I simply did not have enough money on me. Yesterday, in the morning, the weather was warm with sunny intervals, so I decided that today if there is one thing I have to do, that is consume Italian ice-cream while walking in the warm sunshine. So I met up with BF for some lunch first, and then just as we finished lunch, it started effing raining! I suggested that we go home, cause the rain crushed my lovely vision. But BF convinced me to go cause we had gone all the way out. So we ended up eating ice-cream in the parlour watching the rain pouring outside. Quite the opposite of what I envisioned. However, besides the damn weather, I have to say that Oddonio's Ice-cream Parlour in South Kensington on Bute Street has super yummy Italian ice-cream. The coffee and hazelnut flavours are heeeaven, and there are so many more I haven't tried yet which I intend to. As soon as it gets sunny and nice again, I will run my ass off to that parlour to make sure the ice-cream is consumed in sunshine this time.
Ice-cream eating expressions!
They even had a lovely ice-cream bin outside the parlour. I want one of these in my kitchen:
My lesson learned and ultimate conclusion of this whole university application experience (cliche warning): If you have a dream, work hard, work you ass off, keep optimistic and happy if you've done your best (I failed horribly at the optimistic part), and everything will be alright in the end.
Then the morning after, I couldn't sleep, and woke up at 6am. That's when it really struck me that I will actually be a doctor, I am really on my way towards that! Then I hopped out of bed and ate raspberries and drank coffee to contain my excitement. I spent my remaining day shopping at H&M, walking in Hyde Park, having lunch and then Italian ice-cream outside with BF, laundry (cause I felt like I needed to something productive), and ended the day eating chocolate (I couldn't stop, it was one of those moments when you just can't effing stop munching on cocoa and sugar and milk) while playing The Sims 3. Throughout the day at random times, I would remember that I am actually going to commence my medical education soon, which would make me sooo excited.
There was one thing was not very great about eating ice-cream yesterday. I had been moaning and whining about eating good Italian ice-cream for ages, but never found a good opportunity to do it due to some circumstances. Either I was too hungry for actual food or because the weather was bad or because I simply did not have enough money on me. Yesterday, in the morning, the weather was warm with sunny intervals, so I decided that today if there is one thing I have to do, that is consume Italian ice-cream while walking in the warm sunshine. So I met up with BF for some lunch first, and then just as we finished lunch, it started effing raining! I suggested that we go home, cause the rain crushed my lovely vision. But BF convinced me to go cause we had gone all the way out. So we ended up eating ice-cream in the parlour watching the rain pouring outside. Quite the opposite of what I envisioned. However, besides the damn weather, I have to say that Oddonio's Ice-cream Parlour in South Kensington on Bute Street has super yummy Italian ice-cream. The coffee and hazelnut flavours are heeeaven, and there are so many more I haven't tried yet which I intend to. As soon as it gets sunny and nice again, I will run my ass off to that parlour to make sure the ice-cream is consumed in sunshine this time.
Ice-cream eating expressions!
They even had a lovely ice-cream bin outside the parlour. I want one of these in my kitchen:
My lesson learned and ultimate conclusion of this whole university application experience (cliche warning): If you have a dream, work hard, work you ass off, keep optimistic and happy if you've done your best (I failed horribly at the optimistic part), and everything will be alright in the end.
Our future
In the flat, BF and I have a transparent piece of plastic sheet that he stuck on a door on which we can scribble and draw on with white board markers. Quite a genius idea really, except for the fact that the cheap markers we got are practically unerasable if the ink has been on the sheet for over 2 hours, in which case we need to vigorously scrub the sheet for 10 minutes to erase a single letter.
The board is quite a nice boredom release, and I guess we were both quite bored by our tedious studies yesterday that we drew our future:
That's the two of us in 10 years. We have significantly put on weight because we have opened a cafe (the little house in the background). Since we bake everything we sell ourselves, and everything we sell is unresistably yummy, that's why I predict we will become comparably greater in mass in 10 years. The text in my speaking bubble leads "I never met a calorie I didn't like!".
The animals around us are our pets. I don't want kids, so as a compromise, we agreed on getting pets to replace kids (or well, that's my smart idea, although BF still needs some more convincing that pets are nicer campanions to have than screaming infants). We are planning to get three dogs. We want to have a tiny white fluffy dog named Rocky, a big white wolf-look-alike dog name Jelly-Beans, and a golden retriever named Diarrhea. We also want to purchase a black cat and name it The Fuck!, and a hamster named Cookie Dough. Lastly, we will adopt a baby chimpanzee, the closet life form to a human infant, and name it Buttcheeks, and an owl that currently has no name (anyone have any good ideas?).
On a more serious note, I used to be terrified to imagine a future together. But gradually, I'm starting to get used to that thought, and actually quite like it, and definitely enjoy drawing it on a white board and naming our pets. I even found myself googling cottages and houses this morning. Am I becoming old?!
The board is quite a nice boredom release, and I guess we were both quite bored by our tedious studies yesterday that we drew our future:
That's the two of us in 10 years. We have significantly put on weight because we have opened a cafe (the little house in the background). Since we bake everything we sell ourselves, and everything we sell is unresistably yummy, that's why I predict we will become comparably greater in mass in 10 years. The text in my speaking bubble leads "I never met a calorie I didn't like!".
The animals around us are our pets. I don't want kids, so as a compromise, we agreed on getting pets to replace kids (or well, that's my smart idea, although BF still needs some more convincing that pets are nicer campanions to have than screaming infants). We are planning to get three dogs. We want to have a tiny white fluffy dog named Rocky, a big white wolf-look-alike dog name Jelly-Beans, and a golden retriever named Diarrhea. We also want to purchase a black cat and name it The Fuck!, and a hamster named Cookie Dough. Lastly, we will adopt a baby chimpanzee, the closet life form to a human infant, and name it Buttcheeks, and an owl that currently has no name (anyone have any good ideas?).
On a more serious note, I used to be terrified to imagine a future together. But gradually, I'm starting to get used to that thought, and actually quite like it, and definitely enjoy drawing it on a white board and naming our pets. I even found myself googling cottages and houses this morning. Am I becoming old?!
Thoughts about Swedish vocabulary
Personally, I think Swedish is a rather bland language, at least the Swedish that we use in our everyday language today. However, beneath all this blandness, I have discovered that the language does in fact have some very interesting and intriguing words. In my opinion, Swedish words can be divided into two broad categories, one is the common, boring, bland words category, and the other is the obsolete, but interesting/weird/completely random words category.
In studying for the högskoleprovet (a national Swedish exam as an aid to get accepted to university programmes), for the section where our Swedish vocabulary is tested, I frequently encounter the latter category of wacky words. This morning I for instance learned that there is a specific Swedish word for "inflamed eyelid", which is "vagel". So freaking random, and who the hell ever gets their eyelids inflamed anyway?? Among these words, there are also some that are impossible to pronounce and the pronunciation sounds sooo ugly to my ears, like "ånyo". What the fuck, ånyo?? And another one today, "mellan fyra ögon" apparently means i enrum. What!? Isn't that the most ironic definition of a word ever? So effing misleading.
In studying for the högskoleprovet (a national Swedish exam as an aid to get accepted to university programmes), for the section where our Swedish vocabulary is tested, I frequently encounter the latter category of wacky words. This morning I for instance learned that there is a specific Swedish word for "inflamed eyelid", which is "vagel". So freaking random, and who the hell ever gets their eyelids inflamed anyway?? Among these words, there are also some that are impossible to pronounce and the pronunciation sounds sooo ugly to my ears, like "ånyo". What the fuck, ånyo?? And another one today, "mellan fyra ögon" apparently means i enrum. What!? Isn't that the most ironic definition of a word ever? So effing misleading.
The first rejections
I've just heard from two UK med-schools, and both of them were rejections. I feel a bit lost at the moment, and very frustrated. Lost because in case all the other med-schools, including UK, Danish, Swedish and whatever other ones I'm going to apply to, all reject me, I don't really know what I'm going to do during yet another gap year when I do my re-applications. My dream during that year would be to do volunteer work in a poorer country, maybe teach English, for a few months. But I can't be away from home for that long, because I would still need to fill in applications and attend interviews, and all the other shit involved in med-school applications. Or should I apply for a biomedicine course and transfer to medicine after my degree? The places for transferring to medicine have really fierce competition, there's no guarantee. Then what should I do?
I'm really frustrated and disappointed as well. Some of my friends at university tell me that they envy me because I know what I want to do with my life, I have a goal, whereas even though they are at university, they don't know what they want to do. But I just can't freaking find a way to get to the starting point of my vocational dream.
I know it's definitely not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts are sort of sprialling in a negative vicious cycle at the moment: no med-school this year = re-applying next year = take another gap year (don't know what I'd do in the gap year since I can't do what I ultimately want to, volunteering) = waste a year = waste my life = I'm getting OLD = waste a year = I'm getting OLD = Biomedicine? = NO, that route doesn't guarantee me medicine = must re-apply next year = take another gap year...you get the point.
I'm grateful that my parents are being supportive. They didn't get angry, because they know I've been working my ass off for med-school. I just hate disappointing them. I want to give them good news for a change.
This whole shit is so tiring. Not giving up though, never.
The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking
- Robert H. Schuller
I'm really frustrated and disappointed as well. Some of my friends at university tell me that they envy me because I know what I want to do with my life, I have a goal, whereas even though they are at university, they don't know what they want to do. But I just can't freaking find a way to get to the starting point of my vocational dream.
I know it's definitely not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts are sort of sprialling in a negative vicious cycle at the moment: no med-school this year = re-applying next year = take another gap year (don't know what I'd do in the gap year since I can't do what I ultimately want to, volunteering) = waste a year = waste my life = I'm getting OLD = waste a year = I'm getting OLD = Biomedicine? = NO, that route doesn't guarantee me medicine = must re-apply next year = take another gap year...you get the point.
I'm grateful that my parents are being supportive. They didn't get angry, because they know I've been working my ass off for med-school. I just hate disappointing them. I want to give them good news for a change.
This whole shit is so tiring. Not giving up though, never.
The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking
- Robert H. Schuller
Ties
I never really gave much thought about ties. Well, they only thought I had about them was that they are useless, boring accessories. But yesterday, I encountered a tie that completely changed my opinion. Look:
It's a freaking salmon, haha. I loved it! I'd wear it with all my outfits! I was gonna buy it, it was in a charity shop, but was super expensive, it costed 10 pounds! 10 pounds in a charity shop, you can get a whole basket of things!
I also saw a super nice South Park tie. I'm sooo into South Park at the moment, it's my ultimate entertainment during my dinners.
It's a freaking salmon, haha. I loved it! I'd wear it with all my outfits! I was gonna buy it, it was in a charity shop, but was super expensive, it costed 10 pounds! 10 pounds in a charity shop, you can get a whole basket of things!
I also saw a super nice South Park tie. I'm sooo into South Park at the moment, it's my ultimate entertainment during my dinners.
Next 10 years to do list
I found these lists that were written on my birthday a month ago. Everyone (including myself) had to write a list of what I would do before my next 10 birthdays, i.e. before 30 (so old!!). Here's the list I wrote for myself:
THE LIST:
1. Grow 10 cms
2. Open a cafe
3. Do NOT get kids
4. Become a surgeon
5. Travel the world
6. Work for MSF (Doctors Without Borders)
7. Learn to cook
8. Learn to like alcohol
9. Convince people Hogwarts may exist and attempt to find it
10. Marry someone rich and puchase houses around the world
Pretty do-able eh? Ehehehe.
My friends actually had pretty similar lists, which means they know me rather well, which is nice! Below are the additional things they think I should do within the next 10 years:
- Get married in Vegas while being drunk
- Have a kid, out of accident (condom didn't work)
- Climb Mount Everest
- Dance in the carneval of Rio de Janeiro
- Dye my hair blonde
- Run a marathon
- Sky-dive
- Get a chimpanzee (instead of a kid)
- Colour my room in rainbow colours
- Hike from Sweden to Spain
- Cut open a real heart on a living patient
- Perform a brain surgery
- Sea-diving
- Work in a primary school in Africa
- Open an ice-cream shop in China
- Cook everything in a cookbook
- Write a book
- Dissect every organ in a human body
- Take the train from Russia to China (Trans-siberian Railroad)
- Create a new brownie recipe and revolutionize the world
Lots of things to do in so little time, better get going then! Byeeeee!
THE LIST:
1. Grow 10 cms
2. Open a cafe
3. Do NOT get kids
4. Become a surgeon
5. Travel the world
6. Work for MSF (Doctors Without Borders)
7. Learn to cook
8. Learn to like alcohol
9. Convince people Hogwarts may exist and attempt to find it
10. Marry someone rich and puchase houses around the world
Pretty do-able eh? Ehehehe.
My friends actually had pretty similar lists, which means they know me rather well, which is nice! Below are the additional things they think I should do within the next 10 years:
- Get married in Vegas while being drunk
- Have a kid, out of accident (condom didn't work)
- Climb Mount Everest
- Dance in the carneval of Rio de Janeiro
- Dye my hair blonde
- Run a marathon
- Sky-dive
- Get a chimpanzee (instead of a kid)
- Colour my room in rainbow colours
- Hike from Sweden to Spain
- Cut open a real heart on a living patient
- Perform a brain surgery
- Sea-diving
- Work in a primary school in Africa
- Open an ice-cream shop in China
- Cook everything in a cookbook
- Write a book
- Dissect every organ in a human body
- Take the train from Russia to China (Trans-siberian Railroad)
- Create a new brownie recipe and revolutionize the world
Lots of things to do in so little time, better get going then! Byeeeee!
Quote(s) of the Day #2
When life puts you in tough situations, don't say: why me?, just say: try me.
You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop.
You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop.
Back to London
Today I'm going back to London. Feeling quite sad and guilty about leaving my parents so soon again. The house must become pretty empty for them without neither kids in there fighting about TV channels and stuff as my sister went back to her own place in another town a few days ago. I hope they won't be too sad and will carry on happily. It must be the hardest thing ever to have your kids grow up and leave you to pursue their own lives and dreams, urgh. See, another good reason to never get kids. On the bright side, I get to go back to my love - London (and the Bf of course!), so I'm also rather excited!
The last few days here have been stressful but nice to be with my parents. Stressful because I had to complete my application to the Danish med-schools, and I had to write a motivational statement on why I want to do medicine, and the stressful and hard part was that it had to be done in Swedish! I kind of took my UK uni personal statements and edited them a bit to suit the guidelines of the Danish unis. But translating the English one to Swedish was a NIGHTMARE. I translated stuff literally, like "an impelling passion" turned into "en drivande vurm" - which sounds totally ridiculous and wrong. So I had to alter the orders of words and re-phrase stuff. In the end, the translated version felt really bland, like it had lost all the uniqueness it possessed when it was in English. That's one thing I really hate about Swedish. Swedish texts are all bland and not unique (sorry about the generalization).
Oh, my sister hadn't given me a birthday present yet when we celebrated our birthdays last week. So she said she'd give me money, and I said I didn't want money, I want things. Money is so unpersonal, it's like something an uncle would give his niece cause he doesn't know what the niece likes. My sister was too lazy to go into the city to get something, so she converted a shoe box into my university fund box where she put in money. Now the shoe box is in the living room, where my parents can put in loose coins from their shopping and stuff. Hihihi, I won't have to be a suuuuper poor student, hopefully!
Ok, need to get the last things packed. Next time I write here, I'll be in London! Laters!
The last few days here have been stressful but nice to be with my parents. Stressful because I had to complete my application to the Danish med-schools, and I had to write a motivational statement on why I want to do medicine, and the stressful and hard part was that it had to be done in Swedish! I kind of took my UK uni personal statements and edited them a bit to suit the guidelines of the Danish unis. But translating the English one to Swedish was a NIGHTMARE. I translated stuff literally, like "an impelling passion" turned into "en drivande vurm" - which sounds totally ridiculous and wrong. So I had to alter the orders of words and re-phrase stuff. In the end, the translated version felt really bland, like it had lost all the uniqueness it possessed when it was in English. That's one thing I really hate about Swedish. Swedish texts are all bland and not unique (sorry about the generalization).
Oh, my sister hadn't given me a birthday present yet when we celebrated our birthdays last week. So she said she'd give me money, and I said I didn't want money, I want things. Money is so unpersonal, it's like something an uncle would give his niece cause he doesn't know what the niece likes. My sister was too lazy to go into the city to get something, so she converted a shoe box into my university fund box where she put in money. Now the shoe box is in the living room, where my parents can put in loose coins from their shopping and stuff. Hihihi, I won't have to be a suuuuper poor student, hopefully!
Ok, need to get the last things packed. Next time I write here, I'll be in London! Laters!
Quote(s) of the Day #1
One of the biggest loves of my life is quotes! I have a whole notebook collection of quotes by wise, dumb (Britney!), weird, genius, crazy people. My favourite type of quotes are the inspirational ones, the ones where when you read them you get inspired and feel better (also the ones where you go "Geez, I wish I could have said something that smart!!"). I thought I'd start a new category of quotes here, since I've just found a few new ones that I like (I don't have all the names of people who said them though):
Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.
Do not go where the path may lead,
go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The race goes not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.
Here are some lovely witty ones I found:
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes!
I wish I were Adenine so I could be paired with U.
You're so cool, I've got to measure you in Kelvin.
I hear you're an electron. Allow me to introduce myself: My name is fluorine.
I'm fat, you're ugly; I can lose weight.
Ehehehe :D
(Second) best sister in the world
This is a story about my sister. She is the (second) best sister in the whole world (I am the first, ehehe!!). Today is the 8th of March, which is her birthday, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to honour her, because she has sacrificed a lot for me.
My sister is the only other sibling I have, and she is a few years older than me. When I was born in 1990, China had adopted the one-child policy some years prior to that. So I was basically born illegally as the second child in the family. If the authorities found out that my parents had a second child, they would lose their jobs, source of income, and be unable to provide for the family, as well as have to pay a LARGE sum of fine among other things that would destroy a family. In order for that not to happen, my parents sent my sister to live with my grandparents when she was barely 6 years old. My parents moved to another city before my birth, where I lived with them after I was born.
For almost 5 years, we both lived without the slightest clue of our blood relation. My parents had both of us fooled that we were their friend's kid in case any of us would accidently spill out the existence of an illegal sister out of excitement. My parents didn't want to live separated from my sister for the rest of their lives, any parent would dream of a united family. So this is the reason why we ended up in Sweden, a place where there is no restriction to the number of kids a couple is allowed to have.
My sister didn't have the joy of living with her own parents because of me. I know that my grandparents treated her like their own daughter, with love and care (and somehow my sister didn't get spoiled by them). Even today, they have this stronger bond between them that I lack with my grandparents. But it's just not the same to grow up with grandparents, and it makes me feel very guilty and sad to know that I stole my sister's experience of a childhood with my parents. That's why she has sacrified a lot for me. She's also given me the joy of having a companion by my side while growing up. Maybe we lack the bond that siblings get during the very first years of their lives living together, but I still love my sister to bits. She's done so many other beautiful things for me throughout my life too, which would make a list that is too long to list here. Not to mention, she's extremely talented in art, maths, science (although not so much in singing!), and she's an open, social and kind-hearted human being. To tell the truth, she is actually the best sister in the world (and yeah, I admit, even a better one than I am..!), she's the sunshine of my life, and I am proud as hell to have a sister so fantastic as her.
Ok, even though I do love her, I still gotta fight for the cake! Cake>sister, ehehehehe!
Philosophical Musing #5 - Optimism vs. Pessimism
I've been thinking about something, especially because of my med-school interviews: optimism and pessimism. Last year when I applied to UK med-school, I was rejected from all of my choices, even though I was optimistic. So this year, I am generally rather pessimistic about my chances of getting in, despite the fact that I'm a step closer to that dream compared to last year and have attended interviews. It's mostly because I don't want to be disappointed again, and it'll be easier to deal with the potential negative outcome if I have no positive expectations to begin with.
I have come to this conclusion: I think people who are more optimistic are mentally braver and stronger than pessimists. An optimist must be able to take disappointment, and despite the disappointment still find the strength to think optimistically about the next thing in their lives. Pessmists on the other hand don't have to deal with any disappointment, and can go on thinking in the same negative way, and they only risk being positively surprised.
Pessimists also commonly claim that they're just being realistic about life, that there simply just isn't such good things in life, and that optimists are being ignorant and unrealistic. That's just bullshit. There are good things happening in life all the time, but pessimists are so busy looking on the negative side of things, they're so obscured by their thick cloud of negative thoughts that they don't see the bright side and good things.
I guess I have divided everyone and optimism and pessimism into black and white areas. I know a person is rarely a complete pessimist or optimist, but a mixture of both. Also, I am not sure if I made enough sense in my writing above to convey my thoughts regarding this subject, but I hope what I wrote was understandable and followable.
I am a little ashamed of myself for "taking the easier mental route" approach, i.e. being pessimistic in regards to not only my med-school interviews, but also some other things in life. For instance, I decided a while ago I don't ever want to get married, because I know of so many examples of adultery within married couples close to and around me, committed by people I would never think possible. So I thought if I never get married, I would never have to deal with that grief and disappointment. But I refuse to be mentally weak, and I want to believe in life, believe in myself and my ability of altering that trend, and so I don't care if every married couple seems to be cheating on each other, it doesn't mean it'll happen to me! I will try to resume the optimistic mental state I had before and will hang on tight to positive thoughts for dear life!
I have come to this conclusion: I think people who are more optimistic are mentally braver and stronger than pessimists. An optimist must be able to take disappointment, and despite the disappointment still find the strength to think optimistically about the next thing in their lives. Pessmists on the other hand don't have to deal with any disappointment, and can go on thinking in the same negative way, and they only risk being positively surprised.
Pessimists also commonly claim that they're just being realistic about life, that there simply just isn't such good things in life, and that optimists are being ignorant and unrealistic. That's just bullshit. There are good things happening in life all the time, but pessimists are so busy looking on the negative side of things, they're so obscured by their thick cloud of negative thoughts that they don't see the bright side and good things.
I guess I have divided everyone and optimism and pessimism into black and white areas. I know a person is rarely a complete pessimist or optimist, but a mixture of both. Also, I am not sure if I made enough sense in my writing above to convey my thoughts regarding this subject, but I hope what I wrote was understandable and followable.
I am a little ashamed of myself for "taking the easier mental route" approach, i.e. being pessimistic in regards to not only my med-school interviews, but also some other things in life. For instance, I decided a while ago I don't ever want to get married, because I know of so many examples of adultery within married couples close to and around me, committed by people I would never think possible. So I thought if I never get married, I would never have to deal with that grief and disappointment. But I refuse to be mentally weak, and I want to believe in life, believe in myself and my ability of altering that trend, and so I don't care if every married couple seems to be cheating on each other, it doesn't mean it'll happen to me! I will try to resume the optimistic mental state I had before and will hang on tight to positive thoughts for dear life!
