Extreme mood swings
I've been in London for exactly a week today. During this week, I've been like a PMS-loaded barrel, with freaking extreme mood swings.
I am generally happy to be in London. Sometimes I forget that I'm actually dwelling in London, but whenever I do remember a stream of excitement shoots through me. Other times, when I have been wandering through the streets aimlessly for hours distributing my CVs, I start doubting and wondering whether London was a right step or wrong step. Sometimes when I'm alone in my friend's flat, the loneliness washes over me and makes me feel like the tiniest, most insignificant organism in this city. Like in a film, when you are standing in the middle of a street, while people are walking past you, but don't notice you even though you're shouting and screaming for their attention. Other times the intense kindness and generosity of my friends in London make me feel so glad and blessed that they are by my side. Sometimes I wallow in self-doubt, I doubt my ability to find a job and place to live in this huge city. Other times I feel proud, like I've come this far and I can accomplish anything.
Urgh, these mood swings are really draining. I am happy to be in London and am so extremely grateful that I have been so lucky. I will try my best to continue feeling happy and not let that PMS bitch in me out again.
