Philosophical Musing #11

Hmm, there are too many philosophical musings posts in such a short space of time, I'm becoming too serious (but wiser though!). Well, I'll try to think less, and act more in the future, which will probably come true once I've landed in China on Tuesdaaay. At least the act of eating will be more frequent, heehee.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day about career vs. family, which was triggered by an event that occurred yesterday. My cousin has opened a restaurant in Stockholm, and he invited us to attend a barbeque there, because this weekend is a public holiday in Sweden. It's a holiday called Midsummer, and basically the tradition is to dance around a phalic symbol, to celebrate summer(?) or the fertility of the earth(?) or something like that. Regardless, it's a day that is usually celebrated with family or friends, kind of like Christmas family spirit, I suppose. We ate lots of yummy things, like prawns, sweet potatos, and corn at the barbeque. My sister wanted to eat the biiiggest lobster, but when she opened it, there was a lot of black runny stuff, which was apprently its poo, and she lost her appetite, hoho. Anyway, I did not intend to muse about the food, so I'll move on to my main point.

There were several other regular guests at the restaurant too, who were mostly drinking. My cousin said they were all single people, without families. That must have been true, why else would they be sitting and drinking by themselves on a day to feast with your family? There was a man who even got so drunk that he peed his pants, threw up, and even fell flat on his front when he stood up to take a step. No one kept an eye on him, and he got that drunk. When he sat down, his pee was still dripping, and he started to cry, he was a mess, and it was quite a sight, making me feel sympathetic and pitiful for him. What happened to him? Does he have no family? He must feel so lonely to have drunk himself so drunk, he must have a reality so hard to face.

That sight made me vow over and over again whenever I glanced at him to always, always prioritise my family and relatives, and friends. I vowed to always keep in contact with my parents, my sister, and all my relatives, and to see them as often as possible, as well as to always be there for them. I will always nurture my relationship with them. I vowed that when I get married and build my own family, they will be the centre of my life. Sure, my career is important, but I don't want to ever break my family apart for my career. For instance, people sometimes go abroad for a while for the sake of their occupational avdancement, but at the cost of leaving their families, spouse or children behind. I will try to never do that. I suppose I am a bit of a hypocrite, because I left Sweden to study in the UK, therefore leaving my parents...but I hope when I have my own family, I will not break it apart.

In the modern society, it seems like it is so easy for families to break apart. In my opinion, family is the only permanent thing we have in our lives in the end. Friends are important, and in no way am I saying they are less important, but they come and go. I wish it wasn't that way, but people move and lose contact, or people simply grow apart. But family, it never comes and goes, you have the same parents, and although you may grow apart or argue like crazy, parents never leave their children. If you get ill and need help in your daily life, it's your spouse or partner or children that will be your primary carer. Your friends will be important, but rarely do they give up a part of their lives to help like family would. So ultimately, to conclude my musing: family is the most important thing in life - moreso than career and money.

P.S. The other day, I saw something funny. A woman was pushing her two children in a pram, and usually prams for two babies are designed with double "beds" adjacent to each other, or on top of each other. This mother's pram only had one "bed", and the two babies were piled on top of each other like pancakes. The one on the bottom looked so uncomfortable, but the one on the top looked like it was having the time of its life. I almost laughed out loud when they passed by.

Random musings

Just some random things I have been thinking about the past week:

Number 1:
I've been busy at my dad's laboratory in a hospital in Stockholm. He works as a medical researcher, and he does cancer research, specifically on telemorase, which is an enzyme, and its over-activity is involved in the genesis of cancer. Anyway, I have been granted the golden opportunity to do an experiment with him regarding this enzyme. We have been culturing and harvesting cancer cells donated by patients from the hospital. I've been telling this to lots of my friends already: I asked my dad if he knew any of these patients. He said he had no idea who they were, and that they are probably dead by now because of their cancers. After he said that, it felt unnatural and strange to be culturing cells of someone who had probably already passed away. I felt almost like I had no right to be swirling the cells in different solutions, pipetting them, and subjecting them to the different substances and machines I have been doing. However, whenever I felt like that, I would look around me, and all the other researchers would be doing similar things. That would make me feel calmer, like I won't be (or at least alone in being) haunted by these donors for the rest of my life. Or that I won't be doomed to hell for keeping parts of the donors. On the bright side, I have really learned a lot about the experiments and the machines and procedures, and it's been really interesting!

Number 2:
Next Monday, ie in 6 days, I will be on my way back to China! I miss my relatives, watermelons, cheap clothes, and I know I will regret this the moment I walk outside the airport, but I even miss the heat and the sun and the humidity! I'm going to be in China until early August. Hopefully, I'll get to tour within China this year, I wanna see some of the cultural and historical things of China before they're all torn down by the "modernisation". I also really hope to be able to go to Hong Kong to go shopping and eating (and least importantly, haha) finally see my boyfriend after another few months apart.

Number 3:
I met an old friend yesterday (old as in from my childhood, not as in age). She's always kept a diary, and for more than a year now, she's set her mind to write an entry every single day, regardless of whether it is many pages long or just a few sentences short. She types them up on the computer, which means that she can sort her entries so that the same days of different years are put next to each other. I think this is a brilliant and inspiring idea, because it would be so interesting to read later on in life, when you are older and wiser, how your thoughts or actions have differed from completely childish to immature to less immature throughout the years (well, hopefully it's in that order).


Philosophical Musing #10

I'm back in Sweden now, in my parent's home. Which also means I have completed my first year of university! I can't really figure out what I feel...besides relieved about surviving the exams (passing is another issue though, but I will try my hardest not to remind myself of that until absolutely fatally necessary!).

Anyway, in Sweden, all the 3rd year high-schoolers are graduating this week. The tradition is to rent a big truck, and have the entire class stand in the container part, and drive around town with music blasting (hello tinnitus!) and beer showers. Seeing all these trucks made me think about the difference between how I felt when I was in their shoes back in June 2008, and how I feel now, i.e. after a year of university.

When I graduated high school, I had not applied for uni yet, and my future was a curious blur to me. I had no idea what would happen, where I would end up studying university, or what I would be studying (although I had a feeling it would be medicine). All I felt was this overwhelming thirst for life, for life beyond school that I have not had the chance to experience. I was just thirsty for experiences, the kind that I could later make into stories to tell my grandchildren in the (faaaar) future. Accompanying this thirst for life was also this confidence-boosting feeling, it made me feel like I could accomplish anything, sorta invincible. I felt young, intelligent, full of energy and life, I believed in myself. I was so optimistic about my future, I could not wait to start to live it. I wanted to make a mark in this world, the world was waiting for my thunder (yes, I said it was confidence-boosting!).

Three years later, today, I feel different, because a big chunk of my future has been destined. I chose medicine, I chose Liverpool, UK, and so my future is not as blurry to me anymore. I don't mean to suggest that my future is set in stone, but unless I experience a severe biographical disruption, I think it's quite reasonable for me to see my future self as a practicing doctor, and possibly practicing in the UK. I am still optimistic, still believe in myself, still feel intelligent (and awesome, haha), still think I can contribute to the world. However, I really miss feeling the mystery and curiosity of my unknown future, which was a big component of feeling invincible. Now I'm like more cautiously anticipating my semi-predictable future.

I'm not implying this difference in my attitude is an absolute negative thing. It's just an observation I made while watching the (what I now regard as annoyingly loud with bad music taste) students celebrate their freedom. But if you ask me, the invincible feeling of having the world at your feet, to feel like there are endless opportunities in regards to your life and future is a very valuable feeling. In my opinion, it's one of the best feelings I have ever experienced, and I have a hunch that it won't come back :( (maybe unless if I happen to quit med-school...!).

Found an old photo!!!! Hah, I remember wearing that dress. The tradition is for girls to wear a white dress, but I wanted to be different, so I wore the most colorful floral dress I had in my closet, hehehe. Wow, and my hair was so long!


Homesick

A few weeks ago, I watched a film called Garden State. It's about a mid-twentyish man who moved to LA to pursue his acting dreams, but had to go back home to his (broken) family, because his mother had died. Back at home, he meets this girl who he eventually falls in love with. Together with each other's help they try to figure out what life is all about, and they come to the conclusion that "I know it [parting] hurts. That's life. If nothing else, it's life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have." That sentence pretty much summarises life pretty well, I reckon.

There was another quote in the film that summarises EXACTLY what I have been feeling lately: You know that point in your life when you realise the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of a home is gone... It's like you're homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. I cannot begin to explain how accurate these few sentences sum a great deal of my recent philosophical thoughts.

The last time I felt like I had a home was a year ago, when I was living with my boyfriend in the flat in London. We had to part ways a year ago, and have only been seeing each other briefly every few months or so. Since then, I've been unseccessfully seeking for another home. However, even when I spent nearly two weeks with him in London during the Easter holidays, I couldn't find that feeling of home anymore. That little flat, that space was so familiar, filled with memories of a wonderful time I will never forget, but no matter how much I tried to tell myself so, it was just not my home anymore. It made me feel miserable, feel lost and lonely. I wanted to go home, I was homesick, but I couldn't figure out where my home was. A place that doesn't even exist, truly.

On a different topic, when I grow up and buy my own house, I want to decorate my dining room with mismatched chairs, like this:

Examinations

So I just had my first two university examinations. It just occurred to me yesterday while walking to the examination venue that these are examinations of my first year in med-school. Holy crap, I've almost completed an entire year of med-school. I asked myself what I have learned during the past year. My immediate response was: nothing! I feel just as clueless about diseases as I did a year ago. I wouldn't be able to treat a patient any more accurately than before commencing university. However, I don't think "nothing" is completely true either... I've put in a lot of effort into uni work, and how can I have gained zero knowledge from all these hundreds of hours of work?? After some contemplation, I've finally figured out why I feel like I've learned nothing this year.

I suppose my expectations of what I would learn were too high from the very beginning. Before I started uni, I expected to learn enough knowledge, that by the end of the year, I would be able to diagnose people. Haha, I can hear how daft and impossible that sounds like now. I don't mean I expected myself to be a professional doctor and diagnose people accurately, but I did think would know a lot more about diseases than I currently do.

I was simply too ignorant. I thought anatomy was going to be easy, just some memorising, how damn hard could that be, right? Certainly boring, but not hard. Oh, how completely wrong I was! At least one thing I've learned is that anatomy is not just about memorising. Yes, you do have to memorise names of organs and structures, but that's the easy and boring part. The hard part is knowing where it is in your body in relation to its adjacent stuctures as well as the surface anatomy. For instance, the liver. Ok, it's in your abdominal area on the right side, easy. But it's also a three dimensional unsymmetrical structure, surrounded by other organs. By which organs is it surrounded? How are the other organs orientated around it? How does the liver and its adjacent structures look like in health? What happens in disease? How does that affect the surrounding structures? Etc.etc.etc. There're a lot of different aspects to learn and to understand besides the memorising. This is what I did not realised in the beginning. All I expected to learn was: the liver - where is it? What liver diseases can you get? How would you treat them? Ok, great, next organ!

So I suppose utimately, I still know very little about diseases and treating patients. Even after my first year. I wonder how much more knowledge I will have this time next year. Maybe I'll be able to tell you more about liver diseases then. I grant you permission to ask away about fatty liver disease in a year!

Anyway, I have two more examinations to go. One of them is practical clinical skills examination, which is going to be quite hard, as we don't get many opportunities to actually practice them (unless anyone is interested in volunteering as my patient..??). So I better go and do some revision now, probably carry on practicing CPR on my poor stuffed doggy.

Tuesdays With Morrie

Yo guys,

I have been a bit absent from the blog to say the least eh. I realise it's been more than two whole months since I wrote my last entry, I miss writing here!

I've been having a bit of a difficult time lately due to a mixure of events turning my world 180 degrees around (completely, 360 degrees, around would be an overstatement). Anyway, these things that have been happening have made me think about life and prioritise life differently - sort of in the same direction as my last entry. I recently found this book about a dying elderly person sharing his life experiences with a younger man called Tuesdays With Morrie. Although it does have certain bits that even I regard as cheesy, there are certain excerpts that are beautifully written, and I cannot disagree the least bit, but just nod along in agreement. I just wanted to share some quotes from the book that I think applies to each person's life.

    I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.
    Morrie's approach was exactly the opposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, "All right, it's just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is."
    Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely - but eventually be able to say, "All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I'm not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I'm going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I'm going to experience them as well."

    "It's very simple. As you grow, you learn more. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand that you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."
    Yes, I said, but if aging were so valuable, why do people always say, "Oh, if I were young again." You never hear people say, "I wish I were sixty-five."
    He smiled. "You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more."

    "I heard a nice little story the other day," Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait.
    "Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air - until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
    "'My God, this is terrible,' the wave says 'Look what's going to happen to me!'
    "Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave looking grim, and it says to him, 'Why do you look so sad?'
    "The first wave says, 'You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?'
    "The second wave says, 'No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean.'"
    I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.
    "Part of the ocean," he says, "part of the ocean." I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out.

I am risking breaching copyright laws and getting sued by posting this entry, so people, appreciate the quotes! Or go read the book!

P.S. Before I go to bed (as I can hardly keep my eyelids open), I just wanna show off my super-cool new earrings! The head, trunk and legs are not attached together, so if I shake my head, she groooves!)


Philosophical Musing #9

I think my perspective regarding university life has completely changed during the last month or so. I always regarded the academic aspect of university the most important component, and I tried my best to focus on that component entirely. Studying was my first priority, and everything came second to that. It wasn't necessarily entirely because of my nerdy side manifesting itself, but also due to wanting to meet my parents' expectations. Whether I missed some points away from 100% on my exams or tests didn't matter much to myself as much as the desire to be report to my parents that their daughter managed to get the best mark and grade.

However, I met this girl from Canada, and in the beginning of the term she kept going on about how important it is to have a good balance between free time, social life and univiersity studies, especially in a course as demanding and stressful as medicine. She never said no to do fun things, and always encouraged us to participate in events. She said if we spent some time away from our books, we would come back more motivated to learn than if we had never parted from our books. She is a little older (and hence wiser!) than me, and she has already done an undergraduate degree. However, she did not enjoy her first university experience because, according to her, all she did was practically study. This time around, her second experience in university, she said she would never let her studies consume her life again. I found that she was right regarding how you are more motivated to study if you take breaks or do other things in between. I found myself to be a lot quicker and time-efficient if I did not spend an entire weekend at home learning anatomy and physiology.

At the same time, I joined the gym and started going to gym classes. In the beginning I went swimming in the pool with the sole aim of exercising. I did not enjoy swimming at all, because it was such a solitary activity, but I carried on for a while as I wanted to do some kind of exercise. Then when I couldn't stand swimming solitarily all the time anymore, I tried out some different gym classes. I had a lot of fun doing these classes, and met new people. My favourite class at the moment is Boxercise, closely followed by Active Circuit and Step. Who knew (attempting to) box could be so fun (and effing tiring!)?! I even joined the Beginner's Squash Class, and I can now successfully serve (I couldn't do that by my last blog entry yet). I now try to go to a gym class everyday, and I enjoy the classes (unlike swimming). They are not all high intensity classes, but just something to get some endorphins circling in my system. It really helps to alleviate stress, I recommend it to everyone.

My boyfriend has been going through some rough periods for the last few years, including some serious things like losing people in his life. He's now become a very laid back person and always tell me to not stress out too much.

With these influences, I am trying to find a new balance between my studies and free time. I am not saying that university and my studies are not as important, but they are not my sole first priorities anymore. I prioritise my free time and my happiness alongside my studies. I have a new rule for myself: never skip a social event or a gym class, or anything that would make me happy, due to studies (unless I have an exam the next morning, cause it might be sensible to stay in the night before and get a good night's sleep!). My Canadian friend and I also have a rule, a one laugh a day rule - so we try to do something fun everyday. From my boyfriend's experiences, I have witnessed that we really have a limited amount of days, and all we can do is make the best of them.

So from now on I shall attempt to find a balance between:
- Studying
- Attending fun events
- Volunteering
- Attending gym classes
- Cooking (I'm very into cooking at the moment, you should try my scrambled eggs!)


P.S. Found a lovely quote the other day written on a postcard: "Turning upside down makes you happy because the sad feelings get all dizzy and fall out" - loved it!

Settling in

I must be the worst blogger ever, I don't prioritize my blog enough! I've been prioritizing sleep before blogging. Tonight, however, I shall blog before sleeping!

I've had 6 weeks of school now, and I notice that I'm starting to fall into a routine, which is mostly good, but at the same time a little not so good. Good because it's comfortable to have a familiar routine, not so good because I fear having the same routine week after week after week. So far it's been alright though, I haven't felt like life is becoming too repetitive yet, because I've made sure to do things and attend different events and stuff. Although I do get scared whenever I remember I have 5 years left of med-school. I hope I will keep on experiencing new things so that I never feel like I'm stuck in the same old boring routine, like I felt in high school.

School keeps me busy most of the time, there's a lot of work to do, a lot of learning. If I exclude the occasional feeling of hopelessness of completing all the work, I actually enjoy learning all the stuff. I usually feel like I haven't learned anything since the start of school, but sometimes when someone asks me something, or I read something regarding the body that I wouldn't have had a clue of 6 weeks ago, I realise that I have actually learned new things, acquired new knowledge. This realisation makes me excited to learn even more!

I'm too lazy to list and describe what I've been doing, so I'm just going to list some of the more memorable things I have done so far:

- Joined the Uni's Food and Beverage Society (FAB)
- (Through FAB) Been to a cheese and tea-tasting + acquired new curiosity for both things
- Learned the names of all the bones of the skeleton
- Watched Despicable Me in the cinema twice (so freaking hilarious, could watch it AGAIN)
- Learned to make good ratatouille and chickpea salad
- Consumed FAR too much coffee and chocolate, but far toooo little ice-cream
- Carved a pumpkin and painted my face
- Spent way too much money
- Joined the beginner's squash training (still learning to serve properly though, keep missing the damn ball)
- Joined Uni's first aid course group (I think I wouldn't be clueless of what to do if someone collapsed out of nowhere now!)
- Touched and examined most of the organs of the abdominal cavity
- Not had a pizza takeaway yet, even though there're 3 pizza takeaway places within 100ish metres of my halls
- Not been shopping - I CRAVE H&M
- Joined the Uni's fitness centre, and been good at attending classes (boxercise really helps to reduce frustration of memorising anatomy)
- Missed my family and bf
- Perfected my own version of scrambled eggs (I swear it's sooo good)
- + a some other things which would bore me and you too much to list, e.g. spent too many hours of my life in the library

I apaologize if this entry seems a litte scattered. My brain is in a scattered state at the moment - like those little yellow things in the photo below, heehee:


More comprehensive update

Heya! So here comes the more detailed version of some experiences and thoughts so far of life in university and stuff. I have moved to Liverpool for almost a month now (arrived on the 18th of September). So weird how time has literally flown by, I mean, have I really slept on the bed in my room for almost 30 nights? Have I opened my eyes to this room for 30 mornings??

Speaking of my room, it's quite a nice and cosy room (in comparison to many of the other rooms I've seen in the other university accommodation sites). My room is not actually owned by the university, it's like half private, half university-owned, so the rooms are a little better. At least I have my own toilet, which is the best thing ever. I've heard really ridiculous things about some toilets in the halls of other sites. Apparently, some students have to share bathrooms, like literally bathrooms. There are no showers, and on the bathtub there are no shower heads either. They only have a tap on the tub, and if they wash their hair, they have to somehow manipulate their neck muscles to position their head underneath the tap. When the students complained, the accommodation people were claimed that on the description and contract, it clearly said "bathroom". Freaking ridiculous! Anyway, here's a photo of my desk and most of my room:


Am I happy being here in Liverpool? Well, I certainly am grateful that I am here. I really appreciate the opportunity I have, and am very grateful to my parents and all others that have helped me get to this point. I'm happy that I am learning medicine, I like learning it. Some days I feel happy here, other days I feel a bit sad and lonely, and miss my boyfriend and family. I miss the comfort of a home, whether in London or Sweden. I shall not complain though, for I ought to be grateful for what I currently already have!

I also miss my old friends. At the moment, everyone I have met is someone new, someone I have to get to know from the beginning. I don't mind that, but I miss having people around me who I already know, and who don't think I'm weird (well, at least who have gotten used to/accepted my weirdness). I feel like many people aren't putting a lot of effort into making new friends and getting to know new people here. I am making a lot of effort, so not getting it back from most other people I encounter is quite disappointing. I'm glad to have met one girl though, we have a bit in common, so it's really nice to have someone slightly similar to hang out with.

I have a lot of work to do from my course, right from the beginning. There was no "get used to the work load" phase, it was like BAM, read and understand ALL this. On one hand, I am learning a lot, I feel like I'm learning, increasing my knowledge. On the other hand, it's been quite stressful. I'm starting to feel less stressed though recently, because I have just come to terms with the fact that I shall do my best in completing the tasks and assignments, work hard, and do as much as possible without denying myself all life's pleasures or killing myself by drowning in all the work!

So far, it's been ok. I'm ok, just tired. I think the predominant emotion I feel everyday is sleepiness (emotion is probably not the right noun here, hmm). Time is going fast and I'm usually too busy to think much these days besides about things like the greater omentum, and its structure, function and importance in the abdomen, so all is good.


(I cannot find a photo of myself that does not have food in it, hah...! My boyfriend's right: Yiteng ~ eating).

Helloooo

Haven't written here in the LONGEST time ever, but fear not, for I am still alive! Just posting a quick update and a few photos here tonight, and then I will get back with a more comprehensive update later.

I have one comment to make regarding my education so far, and that is: Medical school is STRESSFUL. All the first years in Liverpool are so freaked out by the work load. We have a problem-based curriculum, so we have a very different curriculum than the traditional one. Essentially, ours means that we have a lot of self-study, and it's making us stressed (and the fact that second years are laughing saying that first year is easy, it's second year that's hard and stressful is no help to stress relief whatsoever).

Just a few photos before I head to bed early today, because I haven't really had a proper night sleep since erm, god knows when.



Liverpool waterfront on a raaaare sunny day!


Lots of eating! Here eating in The Chocolate Cellar, holding a milk chocolate turtle. It wasn't as delicious as it looked though :(


This is a dessert from a restaurant that I had never previously heard of before. It is deep-fried jam sandwich with milk carnation ice-cream or something. It was delicious, but soooo FILLING.


More Liverpool events

I've survived until my 4th day here, woohoo! I've gotten a little bit more familiar with the city, as I walked around half of it with some international students I met. Liverpool is quite an interesting city to look at, because it has such a contrast architecture-wise. There's a fine mixture of old, beautiful Victorian buildnings, and just generally old brick buildings, along with modern simple, colourful architecture. Although unfortunately, there are also quite a few old, yucky, cementy block buildings from the post-war period.

The people of the city are all rather friendly. I have become more used to people, men, women, old, young, calling me "Love". It's quite vomit-inducing if used by the wrong people, yet quite nice and warm if used by the right people. The people here seem to be typical examples of friendly small town people, although the city is pretty big, which is great. However, there seems to be a quite a lot of poverty here too, people who seem poor and uneducated are a common sight on the streets.

There have been two days with events for the international students, which I think is great, as many students have only just arrived without any idea what to expect. I have only met one international student who will also study medicine, I hope there are plenty more as I don't want to only be surrounded by British medics.

Talking about the British, yesterday night, there was a freaking house party in our kitchen. The Brits in my corridor seemed to have invited every other Brit living in the same building, especially girls dressed up like effing whores. They drank until about 6am in the morning. I managed to fall alseep sometime after midnight as I was tired, but then woke up a few times in the middle of the night. By about 6am, there was finally peace, it became sooo quiet and nice. However, the kitchen and stairs outside suffered considerable damage, as the kitchen currently looks like a warzone, and the anti-slide black patch on one of the stairs has been kicked off.

I don't have time to write more right now, as I'm meeting up with a few international students in a minute. Need to get dressed, so will write more next time!

From Liverpool!

Yo, guess what! I've moved into my university halls! Yesterday was the move-in date, so I travelled from London to Liverpool in the morning. The journey went quite smoothly considering how much luggage I had. I was annoyed by the businessman who sat opposite me on the train though, he had such a grumpy expression on his face!

Well, where to start? I have acquired so many new impessions and thoughts. Prior to moving to Liverpool yesterday, I hadn't really given the whole thing much thought, or actually, I hadn't devoted much effort or time to think about it. Because of something quite serious that's happened to the BF recently, all my anticipation, nervousness, excitement, dread, uncertainty, and all the other mixture of emotions involved with moving, have been obscured and drowned by his situation.

However, on the night of the 17th, I couldn't fall asleep. I suddenly felt terrified of leaving everything behind. I've become used to and very comfortable living with my BF in London, and even with my parents in Sweden. All of a sudden, I desperately wanted to grab on to either of those lifestyles, I didn't want a foreign one surrounded by strangers. I'm of course grateful of this opportunity of moving to a new city and studying in a good university. At this moment though, all I feel is how I overwhelmingly just want to live in London with the BF again. I feel lonely here.

I live in a flat with five other flatmates, who are all British. After one and a half days with them, I can sum up their lifestyle in 6 words: seize-every-opportunity-to-get-wasted! I feel very different from them, and their world. Just look at the contents of the fridge: I have carrots, tomatoes, avocados, olives, fresh fish etc. They have beer, coke, vodka, more beer, rum, wine, even more beer, and juice. Freaking fluid diet! They seem to be cool and nice people though.

Tomorrow morning is the first official Fresher's Week event, it's a Welcome Fair for international students. I'm looking forward to that, as the British drinking feast is kind of getting repetitive. I hope the international students have a more exciting lifestyle than getting drunk night after night. In the afternoon, the international students are all going to go and have afternoon tea in a hotel, very British ;)

I will take some photos and write more about Liverpool and everything else later. Bye for now!

Quotes and random thoughts

The other day, I saw this quote inscribed on someone's front door, and I really loved it: Do what you like and like what you do.

I found a saved file on my USB earlier with a list of random thoughts I had saved from a website a while ago. Here're some of the funnier ones:
- Are the children who act in rated R movies allowed to see them?
- Who was the first person to say "See that chicken over there? I'm going to eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?
- Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
- If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
- If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn't we now be seeing people from the future?
- Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

Hihi, there are some more, but I'll post them some other time!

P.S. I just arrived in London again this afternoon. My friend called me a globetrotter, I guess he does make some sense eh, I do get around quite a lot. I'm currently back in my BF's flat, alone. He's not back from Hong Kong yet, so I will be here without him until I go to Liverpool and move into my Uni halls (on Saturday). Anyone wanna come here and keep me company until then? :)

Photo Mixture

I captured some photos of some interesting, random, quirky, cool, beautiful things and scenaries in Canada that didn't really fit into my previous two posts about my visit. So here's a separate little post dedicated to these photos:

1) A horse-owner dyed his/her beloved pet's mane a lovely streak of bright neon pink. I wonder whether the horse had any say in the choice of colour...? Freaking animal abuse!


2) This must be the oldest couple I've seen holding hands, and when they sat down on the bench there for a break from walking by the sea, I had to snap a photo of their backs. This simple photo expresses all we want in life eh? Someone to grow old with, to chat to, to be there for each other in happiness and sadness, health and sickness.


3) My sister found this heart-shaped little stone on the beach of the whale-watching location. She called it "the jealousy heart". I thought the stone and its colour (despite the jealousy) were beautiful :)


4) Now this photo, ladies and gentlemen, is the Canadian countryside. After I have done a lot of convincing my BF, that white house (white spot on the left) shall be mine ;) The scenary was truly breath-taking, this photo doesn't do the place justice! Imagine growing small orchard of apple and pear trees there, ahhhh, heaven. I preliminarily invite my blog-readers for apple pie in x years :)


5) I forgot to mention that we also went to the Niagara Falls, the Falls that border USA and Canada. The Falls were beautiful and huge, and there was a ship tour that took me into the middle of all that foggy, misty, watery thingy you see in the photo below. I got totally soaked, but it was so worth it!


Part 2

Besides whale-watching we headed for Quebec City, Montreal, Ottawa and Toronto, all the major cities. Quebec City was a lovely place, a place where I can imagine spending maaany lazy vacation days in the future! The old town of Quebec City is how Paris would be like in my imagination: there are cafes lining the narrow cobbles streets among small botiques and restaurants; people speak French, have horrible English pronunciation, and greet me with "Bonjour!"; above all, there are sooo many delicious, mouth-watering pastries and cakes displayed along the cafe windows. This place has really made me want to vacation in France! Besides gaining this desire to visit France, I bet my head I also gained lots of pounds around my tummy, arms and legs, grr!

(Below) So worth dying for!!!



Old Town of Quebec City (lots of tourists!).


I didn't particularly like Montreal, Ottawa or Toronto much. There's nothing special about those places, despite the fact that they are major cities. Quebec City was special because of their "French-wannabe" aspect, but the remaining three cities really felt quite bland. I suppose Montreal was alright, but it felt like a dirty and old place (and not old in a good way, unlike Quebec City). Ottawa was just utterly boring, and it was freaking impossible to find a shop that sells fresh fruit! I really craved for an apple, but we just couldn't find a single place selling fresh apple! There were plenty of apple beverages, apple sweets, and other stupid apple-flavoured shit, but no damn simple fresh apples, freaking ridiculous. The only reason Ottawa is the capital city of Canada is because of its location, being in between the province Ontario and Quebec, so that it would be fair (I think). In reality, Ottawa has very little things of interest, and their Parliament building is a Big-Ben-Wannabe-Replica-but-uglier construction (photo below).


Toronto- there were a hell lot of Chinese immigrants. Apparently, one in six people is a Chinese person, but it felt more like every other person was Chinese! I believe Toronto is very similar to a typical American city: there is a downtown where the financial district and some shops are located. However, most people live outside the actual city in suburbs, which makes the city centre seem kind of dead. I hate this kind of city layout, especially because there were thousands of huge chain shops, like Wal-mart, McDonald's, Starbucks, and other gigantic malls lining both sides of the highway in the suburbian areas, where most people do their shopping and seek entertainment. This means that people have to rely on their cars to get anywhere, especially since public transportation services were quite inconvenient. Urgh, I can't imagine having such a car-suburb lifestyle.

Toronto from above (I was in the CN Tower).

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