Fluctuations of feeling motivated and unmotivated
Feeling unmotivated sucks. It's the suckiest feeling in the whole world. Recently, I've felt unmotivated quite often and I usually cannot find the source of it. And the worst part of it is that I binge-eat a lot when I'm unmotivated. Hah, it's kind of ironic, that even when I have no motivation to do anything, I can still be arsed to eat. When I say a lot, I mean A LOT, A WHOLE DAMN LOT, and it's scary. I can finish an entire 300g crisps package in less than 15 minutes. Imagine if my binge-eating could be replaced by binge-exercising everytime I felt unmotivated. Holy, I'd wanna feel unmotivated all the time then!
Sometimes when I feel unmotivated, the only thing that gets me motivated again is the thought of going to London soon. Then I get excited, and start like packing, hah, and start looking up hostels and jobs and stuff. Then for no reason, the next hour or day or if I'm lucky, week, I start feeling unmotivated again, and overconsume crisps again. It's always crisps, I don't know why. Maybe I'll try apples or strawberries or something next time.
In all seriousness though, I think I have a vague idea of where this unmotivated me stems from. The problem is I've been at home since July. That's like almost 4 months ago, and I've been at home mostly studying for exams for med-schools, working on med-school applications, exercising, meeting friends a few times a week (up until most of them left to go to uni..!), and not much else. And I think I'm just really fed up staying at home, studying for exam after exam. I know all of the studying is for my doctor dream, but I'm starting to lose focus and forget more often than remember why I'm studying these useless things (e.g. completely obsolete Swedish words).
Anyway, basically, to sum up this post: I can't wait to go to LONDON!!! EEAAAHHH!
