Why I Get Cold Feet
Some of my friends ask me why I am so nervous about going to London. After all, I've been in the UK, been to London, lived there without my family, and survived just fine. True, but it's different this time. This time I have no welcoming host family providing me with a nice and warm double bed, towels, a newly refurbished bathroom, food, and asking me if I need anything. This time I'm moving without any guarantees of anything. I haven't even found a job, haven't looked for a place to live, and I'll probably end up in a hostel with a bunch of German speaking party youngsters among mice and cockroaches (perfect company eh).
Well, it's not really the thought of the Germans or the fact that I might be homeless or kidnapped or murdered that gives me cold feet. Moving to London is probably the most reckless thing I've ever done in my life, and I really, really want everything to work out. My greatest fear is that nothing will work out, that I won't be able to find a job or a place to live, and that I'll have to go back to Sweden.
I've been reading some other people's blogs about moving to London lately. I get day-dreamy when I read them! For some of them, life in London has worked out great, and they now have a good job and home, and have decided to stay permanantly. It makes me day dream about my upcoming life in London, and wonder whether I'll find my place in London. If I (hypothetically) find a job I really enjoy and want to stay in London for an extended period of time, would I do it? Hmmm, no, I don't think so, I would not delay my medical studies another year.
