Life advice #1: Long distance relationships
Recently, my relationship with the BF has been rocky, and it's because of the distance and subsequent time zone between us. If there's one thing I've learned from this relationship, it is: long distance is really hard, so try to avoid it at all costs! I don't regret what I have with the BF, but I wish I had known from the beginning that it was not going to be an easy game.
The hardest part is of course not being able to be physically close to each other. The first few weeks after separation, it makes you feel really lonely to not have that person to hug, squeeze and cuddle, especially at night. I remember when my BF left for Hong Kong during the easter holiday and I was by myself in the flat. I felt so lonely and missed him so much, especially after dark, that I needed to have my arm around our stuffed monkey to mimick the feeling of cuddling my BF when I went to bed. I hated the quiet nights in the flat alone, I would long for morning to come, so that I would awake to a buzzling city, which would ease the loneliness.
Being in two different time zones is also difficult. There are 6-8 hours between the BF and I (depending on London/Stockholm and Summer/Winter). I hate the fact that he is alseep half of my afternoon, and my entire evening, when I most want to talk to him. Every day we call each other, we have to take time zone into consideration. What time is it over there? Is he still sleeping? Is he busy having lunch? Is he busy in a meeting with his lawyer this afternoon? Etc.etc.
For me, I am extremely sick of keeping contact through the phone. There's a lot that remains unsaid because I don't want to say some important things through the phone. I especially despise the combination of time zone and phone contact. Many times when we call each other, we are unable to say more than "Hi, sorry, could you call a bit later, like when it's two o'clock for you, I'm busy right now."
All these factors strain you emotionally. When something happens between you two, it will ruin your mood, especially because you are unable to physically solve it with your partner. Today is one of those days for me.
Some people can adjust better than others to a long distance relationship. For instance, I cannot cope with it as well as my BF does. Some days, I think "Ok, this is it, I can't do this anymore." A few days ago, I really had enough, and I texted something similar to the BF after an incident, and it was quite selfish of me. He called me a few minutes later, and we worked things out in the end. But today, things didn't really turn out great, and that thought crossed my mind yet again. The longer I spend apart from him, the more frequent that thought goes through my mind, because of the increasing problems we run across.
I would advise anyone getting into a relationship that will involve some long distance periods to really think it through. It's not a game. And it really takes both parties to really want to continue.
P.S. I don't mean to sound like Dr Phil!
The hardest part is of course not being able to be physically close to each other. The first few weeks after separation, it makes you feel really lonely to not have that person to hug, squeeze and cuddle, especially at night. I remember when my BF left for Hong Kong during the easter holiday and I was by myself in the flat. I felt so lonely and missed him so much, especially after dark, that I needed to have my arm around our stuffed monkey to mimick the feeling of cuddling my BF when I went to bed. I hated the quiet nights in the flat alone, I would long for morning to come, so that I would awake to a buzzling city, which would ease the loneliness.
Being in two different time zones is also difficult. There are 6-8 hours between the BF and I (depending on London/Stockholm and Summer/Winter). I hate the fact that he is alseep half of my afternoon, and my entire evening, when I most want to talk to him. Every day we call each other, we have to take time zone into consideration. What time is it over there? Is he still sleeping? Is he busy having lunch? Is he busy in a meeting with his lawyer this afternoon? Etc.etc.
For me, I am extremely sick of keeping contact through the phone. There's a lot that remains unsaid because I don't want to say some important things through the phone. I especially despise the combination of time zone and phone contact. Many times when we call each other, we are unable to say more than "Hi, sorry, could you call a bit later, like when it's two o'clock for you, I'm busy right now."
All these factors strain you emotionally. When something happens between you two, it will ruin your mood, especially because you are unable to physically solve it with your partner. Today is one of those days for me.
Some people can adjust better than others to a long distance relationship. For instance, I cannot cope with it as well as my BF does. Some days, I think "Ok, this is it, I can't do this anymore." A few days ago, I really had enough, and I texted something similar to the BF after an incident, and it was quite selfish of me. He called me a few minutes later, and we worked things out in the end. But today, things didn't really turn out great, and that thought crossed my mind yet again. The longer I spend apart from him, the more frequent that thought goes through my mind, because of the increasing problems we run across.
I would advise anyone getting into a relationship that will involve some long distance periods to really think it through. It's not a game. And it really takes both parties to really want to continue.
P.S. I don't mean to sound like Dr Phil!
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