My Curriculum Vitae

I've been thinking about something, especially because of my med-school interviews: optimism and pessimism. Last year when I applied to UK med-school, I was rejected from all of my choices, even though I was optimistic. So this year, I am generally rather pessimistic about my chances of getting in, despite the fact that I'm a step closer to that dream compared to last year and have attended interviews. It's mostly because I don't want to be disappointed again, and it'll be easier to deal with the potential negative outcome if I have no positive expectations to begin with.

I have come to this conclusion: I think people who are more optimistic are mentally braver and stronger than pessimists. An optimist must be able to take disappointment, and despite the disappointment still find the strength to think optimistically about the next thing in their lives. Pessmists on the other hand don't have to deal with any disappointment, and can go on thinking in the same negative way, and they only risk being positively surprised.

Pessimists also commonly claim that they're just being realistic about life, that there simply just isn't such good things in life, and that optimists are being ignorant and unrealistic. That's just bullshit. There are good things happening in life all the time, but pessimists are so busy looking on the negative side of things, they're so obscured by their thick cloud of negative thoughts that they don't see the bright side and good things.

I guess I have divided everyone and optimism and pessimism into black and white areas. I know a person is rarely a complete pessimist or optimist, but a mixture of both. Also, I am not sure if I made enough sense in my writing above to convey my thoughts regarding this subject, but I hope what I wrote was understandable and followable.

I am a little ashamed of myself for "taking the easier mental route" approach, i.e. being pessimistic in regards to not only my med-school interviews, but also some other things in life. For instance, I decided a while ago I don't ever want to get married, because I know of so many examples of adultery within married couples close to and around me, committed by people I would never think possible. So I thought if I never get married, I would never have to deal with that grief and disappointment. But I refuse to be mentally weak, and I want to believe in life, believe in myself and my ability of altering that trend, and so I don't care if every married couple seems to be cheating on each other, it doesn't mean it'll happen to me! I will try to resume the optimistic mental state I had before and will hang on tight to positive thoughts for dear life!