The first rejections
I've just heard from two UK med-schools, and both of them were rejections. I feel a bit lost at the moment, and very frustrated. Lost because in case all the other med-schools, including UK, Danish, Swedish and whatever other ones I'm going to apply to, all reject me, I don't really know what I'm going to do during yet another gap year when I do my re-applications. My dream during that year would be to do volunteer work in a poorer country, maybe teach English, for a few months. But I can't be away from home for that long, because I would still need to fill in applications and attend interviews, and all the other shit involved in med-school applications. Or should I apply for a biomedicine course and transfer to medicine after my degree? The places for transferring to medicine have really fierce competition, there's no guarantee. Then what should I do?
I'm really frustrated and disappointed as well. Some of my friends at university tell me that they envy me because I know what I want to do with my life, I have a goal, whereas even though they are at university, they don't know what they want to do. But I just can't freaking find a way to get to the starting point of my vocational dream.
I know it's definitely not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts are sort of sprialling in a negative vicious cycle at the moment: no med-school this year = re-applying next year = take another gap year (don't know what I'd do in the gap year since I can't do what I ultimately want to, volunteering) = waste a year = waste my life = I'm getting OLD = waste a year = I'm getting OLD = Biomedicine? = NO, that route doesn't guarantee me medicine = must re-apply next year = take another gap year...you get the point.
I'm grateful that my parents are being supportive. They didn't get angry, because they know I've been working my ass off for med-school. I just hate disappointing them. I want to give them good news for a change.
This whole shit is so tiring. Not giving up though, never.
The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking
- Robert H. Schuller
I'm really frustrated and disappointed as well. Some of my friends at university tell me that they envy me because I know what I want to do with my life, I have a goal, whereas even though they are at university, they don't know what they want to do. But I just can't freaking find a way to get to the starting point of my vocational dream.
I know it's definitely not the end of the world for me, but my thoughts are sort of sprialling in a negative vicious cycle at the moment: no med-school this year = re-applying next year = take another gap year (don't know what I'd do in the gap year since I can't do what I ultimately want to, volunteering) = waste a year = waste my life = I'm getting OLD = waste a year = I'm getting OLD = Biomedicine? = NO, that route doesn't guarantee me medicine = must re-apply next year = take another gap year...you get the point.
I'm grateful that my parents are being supportive. They didn't get angry, because they know I've been working my ass off for med-school. I just hate disappointing them. I want to give them good news for a change.
This whole shit is so tiring. Not giving up though, never.
The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking
- Robert H. Schuller
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