Homesick
A few weeks ago, I watched a film called Garden State. It's about a mid-twentyish man who moved to LA to pursue his acting dreams, but had to go back home to his (broken) family, because his mother had died. Back at home, he meets this girl who he eventually falls in love with. Together with each other's help they try to figure out what life is all about, and they come to the conclusion that "I know it [parting] hurts. That's life. If nothing else, it's life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have." That sentence pretty much summarises life pretty well, I reckon.
There was another quote in the film that summarises EXACTLY what I have been feeling lately: You know that point in your life when you realise the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of a home is gone... It's like you're homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. I cannot begin to explain how accurate these few sentences sum a great deal of my recent philosophical thoughts.
The last time I felt like I had a home was a year ago, when I was living with my boyfriend in the flat in London. We had to part ways a year ago, and have only been seeing each other briefly every few months or so. Since then, I've been unseccessfully seeking for another home. However, even when I spent nearly two weeks with him in London during the Easter holidays, I couldn't find that feeling of home anymore. That little flat, that space was so familiar, filled with memories of a wonderful time I will never forget, but no matter how much I tried to tell myself so, it was just not my home anymore. It made me feel miserable, feel lost and lonely. I wanted to go home, I was homesick, but I couldn't figure out where my home was. A place that doesn't even exist, truly.
On a different topic, when I grow up and buy my own house, I want to decorate my dining room with mismatched chairs, like this:
There was another quote in the film that summarises EXACTLY what I have been feeling lately: You know that point in your life when you realise the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of a home is gone... It's like you're homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. I cannot begin to explain how accurate these few sentences sum a great deal of my recent philosophical thoughts.
The last time I felt like I had a home was a year ago, when I was living with my boyfriend in the flat in London. We had to part ways a year ago, and have only been seeing each other briefly every few months or so. Since then, I've been unseccessfully seeking for another home. However, even when I spent nearly two weeks with him in London during the Easter holidays, I couldn't find that feeling of home anymore. That little flat, that space was so familiar, filled with memories of a wonderful time I will never forget, but no matter how much I tried to tell myself so, it was just not my home anymore. It made me feel miserable, feel lost and lonely. I wanted to go home, I was homesick, but I couldn't figure out where my home was. A place that doesn't even exist, truly.
On a different topic, when I grow up and buy my own house, I want to decorate my dining room with mismatched chairs, like this:
Kommentarer
Trackback
